As I’ve discussed plenty of times on snapchat: I FUCKING HATE THE NAIL SALON. ( Disclaimer: things are about to get very dramatic )
Unfortunately for me, my nails naturally suck, so your average manicure just won’t cut it.
That being said, I’d rather eat my own organs than sit in a stuffy nail salon for over an hour, while people hold down my hands & feet to rip off my cuticles & paint my nails while I nervous-sweat my balls off.
I’m getting major anxiety thinking about such a horrific experience. I have nail salon PTSD, LOL.
Dramatic?? Maybe?? Idk??
Anywho, during my last hell-like trip to the nail salon, in the midst of a cold sweat & not being able to breathe like a normal human, I had to wonder WHY I subject myself to such a negative experience… let alone PAY for it.
No. No more. I’m no longer encouraging a mental break to ensure that my nails are done perfectly. The benefit does not outweigh the emotional toll, LOL.
So, I’ve mastered the art of the DIY manicure, & it is LIFE CHANGING, SO CHEAP, & MUCH FASTER.
Lemme break down how I get salon-style nails at home.
1. Shape & Buff.
Like I said, my nails suck & are pretty short, so I don’t usually cut them. I do, however, use a drugstore nail file and buffing block to shape & buff them. I like to start with a clean, even surface.
2. Cuticle Maintenance.
After shaping my nails, I brush on some cuticle oil & let it sit for a second. I’m not a huge fan cutting my cuticles, because they tend to look crazy & gross when they grow back. Instead, I gently push them back with a cuticle pusher.
I exfoliate with a salt scrub, applying it with warm water all the way up to my forearms. I’m such a freak about my skin being soft, so exfoliation is KEY.
4. Apply Nails ( optional ).
At the nail salon, because my nails are short, I have them apply a tip on my nail, & do either acrylic or dip powder gel to secure the tip on. It’s a long process, & its relatively expensive.
A few weeks ago, during a minor nail emergency, I ran to CVS to get a set of cheap-o, drugstore press-on nails as a temporary fix. I ended up discovering an AMAZING DIY MANICURE SECRET in the midst of my on-the-fly back-up plan.
I discovered KISS Gel Fantasy Ready-To-Wear gel nails. First off, this is NOT sponsored. The love is so real.
These thin gel-like nails are applied with nail glue or adhesive tabs ( flashback to my middle school drugstore nail days, LOL ), & they stay on for a week or more. Unlike normal drugstore nails, these nails are sturdy & strong, so you don’t have to be gentle with them.
You’ll forget they’re even on. They’re $10. You can find them at your local drugstore. SCORE.
I stocked up on these earlier today, because I can’t get enough. NO MORE NAIL SALON BULLSHIT.
5. Triple Coat of Polish.
The gel nails I buy come in a number of different colors, but I usually end up painting over them anyways. My recent favorite nail polish comes from Smith & Cult, because the consistency of the polish is flawless.
It’s thin, pigmented, buildable, & it dries ultra-fast. Thick, clumpy nail polish is NO.
After my nails are COMPLETELY dry, I apply a thick hand cream with shea butter to moisturize my hands/arms. You can find some good hand creams with shea butter at the drugstore or at places like Sephora/The Body Shop.
I’m somewhat proud of myself for finding a way to eliminate unnecessary stress in my life, even though the source of that stress is ridiculous/dramatic/totally not stressful to a normal person.
Also, I can use that extra $$ to see a movie or go to lunch with my girlfriends ( because, yes, attending a movie at my local theater or having a light lunch in Los Angeles costs at minimum $30… bleh ), so that’s another plus.
Have y’all mastered the art of the DIY manicure? Does ANYONE on EARTH get as stressed out as I do at the nail salon? This is a mystery to me.
That’s it for today, wieners, talk sooooon. xx