I’ve been sharing my resolutions/goals at the beginning of each year since I began blogging.
At first, I was all about the hustle. In the beginning of my blogging career, which happened to coincide with the very beginning of my 20s, I wanted to focus my energy on working to grow Hustle + Halcyon into a platform I could make living off of.
Last year, my resolution was to SLOW DOWN. I began making a full-time living as a blogger about a year-and-a-half ago, which is when I realized it was time to pump the brakes & live outside of work.
I was kind of able to disconnect in 2018.
It’s difficult to truly disconnect when you’re addicted to thinking about your job ( it’s not on purpose! I just get too excited ) AND when you’re receiving constant contact from readers/followers, brands, other bloggers, etc, asking things of you. As a blogger, I feel like I have to be available to everyone at all times.
Last year was about noticing when I was TOO connected & allowing myself to take a step back. I can’t say I succeeded entirely, but I think 2018 was a step in the right direction.
I’m switching things up in 2019, though. Instead of detailing one resolution/goal relating to work, I’ve decided to set 5 mantra-style goals for my own personal growth, including but not limited to my professional life.
These are the top 5 things I need to work on to inch closer to the person I ultimately want to be for myself, for my friends/family, & for you! We’re all a work in progress, and all we can do is become aware of the facets of our persons we can improve to better our world.
This year is about being gentle & patient ( hint hint ) with myself while pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
So, here are the 5 things I’m working on in 2019. They all blend together seamlessly, too, which is something the romantic in me thought was very poetic.
My 2019 mantras are:
LISTEN + OBSERVE
My goal to LISTEN more relates to a number of areas in my life, so stay with me here.
First, the most obvious & the most simple: I want to LISTEN to people without the intent to respond. It makes people like you more & you learn more in the end. Boom. Easy.
More large-scale, I want to listen to ( & observe ) the WORLD more. I want to relinquish control on occasion and let the universe ( or whatever you want to call it ) guide me in a direction, instead of ALWAYS etching out a path for myself. It seems a bit exciting to let go & just see what happens.
I know, I know, I’m constantly talking about planning and setting goals and making shit happen and accomplishing the missions you set out on regardless of obstacles that might arise. It’s extra important to create what you want for yourself, don’t get me wrong. I’m a control freak in terms of my time ( & my life in general ), so this one is a bit of a nightmare for me.
BUT: I also realize that I don’t know everything, so trying to control situations & outcomes from my 25-year-old perspective can be extremely limiting. Once you relinquish control of a situation, you allow for an outcome you might not house in your realm of possibilities.
Do you feel me?
I know this one is a bit theoretical, but y’all get it, right?
I want to live open-ended sometimes, instead of strictly controlling everything about my life. I want to allow myself to be surprised by the unknown or the unexpected. I want to relax & observe without trying to mold & control. Let’s call this drifting, shall we?
Some would describe this as letting the universe guide you.
Of course, a balance needs to be struck between this type of drifting and a more assertive approach to guiding your life through schedules, to-do lists and outlines.
I lived the first 24 years of my life guided by strict scheduling & expectations ( Type A Personality x1000000 ).
Instead of dishing out constant demands to the universe, I think its about time to let it start guiding me a bit.
This mantra is a bit more tangible.
I want to simplify my space, my mind, my relationships, my life.
Starting the year getting rid of physical clutter seems like a good place to start. I need to ( literally ) clean out my closet and make it a habit to do so more consistently.
Luckily for me, I’ve hired a friend to help me get rid of ( AKA sell or give away ) the clothing & beauty products I’ve been hoarding in 2018.
I want less STUFF. I don’t need 1 MORE THING.
When it comes to the physical things I own, my goal is to own less things of higher quality, whether its clothing, makeup, skincare, books, home decor. Quality over quantity ALWAYS.
Simplifying my life in other ways is going to take a bit more mental strength.
I want to put less pressure on myself. I know myself well enough to know I thrive when I’m under pressure, so I do need some pressure in my life. BUT, I don’t need to drown myself in obligations.
I can simplify my life in other ways by being more specific with my goals & intentions and better communicating with others ( we’ll get to this one later ).
2019 is going to be about getting specific, and ultimately, simplifying.
Omg. Patience. My mortal enemy.
Have I mentioned I’m a control-freak yet? LOL.
Patience has never been my strong suit.
I want everything and I want it right now. This type of attitude has motivated me to start + maintain a business by my mid-twenties, but it has also created an unbelievable amount of stress in my life.
I’m not sure if anxiety begets impatience or if impatience begets anxiety. They seem to feed eachother in a never-ending downward spiral.
This year is about breaking the pattern. I will make myself RELAX, and let things happen in their own time whenever possible.
Being more patient goes hand-in-hand with listening/relinquishing control. Tackling this one is going to be quite a process, but I’m giving myself points for acknowledging my consistent impatience + WANTING to fix it.
I need to be patient with the world, with others, and with MYSELF. There is only so much we can each do in a day, in a week, in a year. I have a tendency to expect perfection and immediate results from myself + those around me, which is, again, a positive trait on occasion. Most of the time, though, its stressful & unhealthy.
Slowly but surely, gently improving myself in the ways I can! I’m only about 2 weeks in, and the last half of my twenties ( and 2019 in general ) are already shaping up to be the best years of my life thus-far.
Quite simply, I need get better at trusting myself + other people. Not to over-mention the vague idea of the universe, but I need to trust the universe more. I’ve been in LA for nearly 3 years and now I’m all about the universe and drinking celery juice, KK?
I’ve never been one to trust others with anything, both professionally & personally. Sometimes approaching life this way is realistic, as not everyone has your best interests in mind or is as passionate about getting their job done as you might be.
I don’t trust others to do things correctly and in a timely manner or to be reliable when it comes to work life. I care A LOT about my work because I have to. I’m responsible for maintaining my business. There is no one else to fall back on.
As everything grows, I realize I have to start trusting people to take over certain facets of my work life that I just don’t have the time to pay attention to anymore. It’s all part of growth.
I’ve found that all I can do is try to find the best people for the job & trust them to get it done. Sometimes that means cutting loose people who have proven to me they aren’t passionate/excited about what they’re doing, bring weird energy into the space, or have proven themselves unreliable time & time again.
I think this^ is a good mix of controlling what I can + giving up/trusting others when necessary. That’s the plan, anyways ( we’ll see how it unfolds, LOL ).
In terms of my personal life, I rarely trust others to be loyal, reliable, & understanding. I have a very small handful of people I trust to show up for me if I need them, and even with them I’m hesitant.
As a person who prides myself on being extremely loyal & reliable, I have a difficult time giving others the space to prove they are too. I’m sure my inability to allow others in in this way, & to share my shortcomings without worry of being judged, has crippled personal relationships in the past.
It’s one thing to openly share myself online, because I can control the narrative & I can withhold whatever I want ( though I do try to remain as transparent as possible ). It’s an entirely different thing to share your flaws with those who will experience them first-hand.
My inability to trust those closest to me became most obvious last year when I was in my first relationship. That experience taught me a lot about why I withhold myself & revealed to me the damage that can do in relationships ( both romantic relationships & friendships ).
Sidenote: this isn’t to say I’m going to trust everyone in all the ways & see what happens. I’m very strict in relationships when it comes to trusting men to stay faithful, and that’s something I won’t budge on. I’ve never been serious about a guy I can’t trust in that way, and I never will be. I want someone I won’t be questioning, because I don’t have time for that. End of story.
On the same note, I surround myself with good friends I trust to be there for me if I need them, who have my best interests in mind, & who are willing to defend me no matter the scenario. I provide this type of support to my close friends, so its something I don’t really sway on.
What I’m talking about here is trusting people to support & love me, even after understanding my shortcomings. Not allowing those who love you the opportunity to prove how trustworthy they are is robbing them of showing their love.
Trusting someone else might just be the best thing you can do, which ties into allowing the unexpected to surprise you, I guess.
Lastly, I need to trust myself. When I stress about the future, it’s obvious that I’m not trusting myself to be the type of person who can deal with whatever future comes my way.
The thing is, when I think about it, I AM well-equipped to handle what life throws my way. I have done pretty damn well thus-far, so why can’t I allow myself the space to prove myself TO MYSELF?
I know for a fact that I am strong, independent, intelligent, & I can withstand A LOT. I return to these positive traits when I start to doubt where my life is going.
Small reminders of who the fuck you are can go a long way, & I intend to let 2019 be the start of me showing me what’s up. I suggest you do the same, beebus.
My last 2019 mantra/goal is to do a better job of communicating to others what I want, need, think & feel.
I’ve learned that people cannot read your mind. No matter how much you think you’re on the same page as someone else, you cannot assume they totally understand you, what you want, what you think, your vision, etc. You have to tell people in a very clear way what you’re all about.
In terms of relationships, communication is absolutely everything. This is is another thing I’ve learned in the last year. Of course, people stress the importance of communication in relationships ALL THE TIME… but, for me, it didn’t really click until I saw a lack of communication in practice.
I want to work on not feeling guilty for having needs/wants that must be met to make me feel comfortable & supported in relationships. I also need to put myself out there more by communicating my feelings, and trust that whatever arises as a result is supposed to happen. No silencing myself, no getting embarrassed, no playing games, no assumptions.
This goes for telling people I love & appreciate them more, too. Oftentimes, I assume the people around me know I love them & will always be there if they need me, so I rarely overtly say these types of things to people. The fact is, some people need to hear it, and I want to do a better job of letting the people in my life know how special they are to me.
Without communication, everything is left up to assumption & all of the things we project onto other people. Talk about a MESS.
So, this year, I want to get clear about what I need from others & what I love about others, and I want to be confident enough to share those things. Communicate, relinquish control, trust, repeat.
Are any of you into this mantra idea?? I know some of y’all are probably in the same boat as me as far as areas of life you can improve in.
I know this was a lengthy post ( I haven’t done one of these in AWHILE! I miss it ), so if you stayed until the end, you’re the GOAT.
Maybe some of you got inspired to add one of these to your list of things to work on in 2019. Maybe? Anyone?
Talk very soon, beebs! & BELATED Happy New Year! Let’s get to work. xx